Training the Best

Yes, it's true, military pilots really do have call signs just like in Top Gun. However, unlike Top Gun, they are not cool names like Ice Man and Maverick and we don't write them on the front of our helmets or introduce ourselves to girls using this name.

In reality, call signs are usually earned for some embarrassing event or trait, or even just making fun of the pilot's name. They can actually change with each squadron you go to if your new squadron mates think yours is too cool they'll give you a new, more embarrassing one. Oh, and the last thing you ever want to do is try to get a call sign; you'll wind up with the most awful name ever. Some examples of call signs I have heard and know the story behind:

Maj. Steven "Flounder" Foley - he slipped off the pull up bars during a squadron PFT and fell flat on his back.

LCDR Theodore "Bunza" Steelman - just sound that one out. Take the "man" off the end of his name if you need help.

"Heater" - an F-15 pilot who left the canopy defog on too long and melted a canopy.


So I told you all that in order to explain my first call sign, given to me by my on-wing, Lt. Gilkison: Oscar. As in Oscar the grouch. My TBS buddies would believe it's because of my sometimes grumpy demeanor in the field, but that's just too easy.

During my pre-flight brief for my FAM 3 flight on Monday I had to draw out the landing pattern on the dry erase board. I don't know where the Navy buys their dry erase markers but this one stunk like hell. Lt. Gilkison didn't say anything until another instructor opened the door to the small room to tell him something. After a brief word the instructor said something to the effect of "Alright man, I'm gonna go cuz I've got a flight and it really stinks in here." Without missing a beat, Lt. Gilkison points to me and they both share a laugh at my expense. I thought it was pretty funny.

After the flight, on a hot day in a plane with an air conditioner that refused to work I asked Lt. Gilkison why we left the canopy open after getting out. He explained that it was so the ground crew could post flight the aircraft and after a slight pause "and because you stink." It was at this time that he decided to name me Oscar.

At least they didn't find out about my hash name.

// posted by Josh @ 4/04/2006 11:44:00 PM